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Preparing for Christmas with Autistic Children: A Guide for Families
Posted Date : on Dec 4, 2024
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The Christmas season can be a wonderful time, filled with joy and family togetherness. However, for families with an autistic child, it can also bring challenges. Between changes in schedules, unfamiliar social settings, sensory overload, and traditional family expectations, the holiday period can become overwhelming for both the child and their caregivers. This guide offers practical strategies, drawing on recent research findings and family experiences, to help make the holiday season as enjoyable and stress-free as possible for everyone.
1. Adjust Expectations and Set Boundaries
The first step towards a more manageable Christmas is to adjust expectations. Let go of ideas that everyone must participate in all traditional holiday activities. Instead, adapt traditions or create new ones that suit your child’s unique needs. For example, if your family typically has a large dinner on Christmas Eve, consider having a smaller, simpler lunch or celebrate at a quieter time of day when your child is more comfortable.
It’s also important to communicate these boundaries with extended family members. Educate relatives about what your child may find overwhelming, such as loud gatherings or certain foods. Set clear boundaries around what your family can and cannot do, and encourage compromise where possible. This will help manage expectations and create a supportive environment for your child.
2. Prepare for Changes in Routine
Christmas often brings significant changes in the daily routine, which can be particularly challenging for autistic children. To help your child cope with these changes, introduce them in advance. Create a visual calendar or schedule that details the upcoming events—such as visits to relatives, meals, or decorating activities. This gives your child a sense of predictability, allowing them to mentally prepare for each new activity.
Maintaining some elements of their routine, such as consistent bedtime or meal schedules, can provide a stable anchor during this busy period. If changes are unavoidable, try to explain them ahead of time and include comforting activities in your child’s daily schedule.
3. Sensory Management: Identify Quiet Spaces
Christmas gatherings can often be filled with sensory stimuli, from bright lights and decorations to noisy crowds and new smells. Identifying a quiet, sensory-friendly area in advance is a helpful strategy for any family event. Let your child know where they can go if they feel overwhelmed. This space should be equipped with familiar comfort items, such as headphones, fidget toys, or a favourite blanket, to help them self-regulate and decompress.
When visiting family or friends, communicate in advance to find out if a quiet space will be available. Bringing familiar items and creating a portable ‘calm kit’ can also help your child manage the sensory challenges that come with holiday gatherings.
4. Communicate and Educate Family Members
Many challenges during the holiday season come from misunderstandings or lack of awareness among extended family members. Take the time to educate relatives about autism and the specific preferences of your child. For example, explain why your child might not enjoy typical holiday activities or why they may need to step away during gatherings. Sharing this information helps to foster understanding and create a supportive atmosphere, reducing potential stress for both you and your child.
Consider preparing a short guide or even having a conversation with family members beforehand. This can help everyone feel more comfortable and know what to expect, enhancing the experience for your autistic child and other family members.
5. Create Flexible Traditions
Many traditional holiday activities can be overwhelming, so it may be beneficial to develop new, more autism-friendly traditions. Instead of a large family meal, consider a simple outdoor activity like visiting Christmas lights at a quieter time or decorating over several days instead of all at once. Smaller, more manageable activities can reduce pressure and help make the season more enjoyable for everyone.
Stretching out the celebration—such as opening presents over several days rather than all at once—can also help reduce anxiety and overstimulation for your child. Consider wrapping gifts in easy-to-open packaging or using gift bags with tissue paper to accommodate sensory preferences and fine motor abilities.
6. Make Use of Sensory-Friendly Opportunities
Many local organisations and shopping centres now offer sensory-friendly holiday experiences, such as ‘Quiet Santa’ visits. These opportunities are often held in controlled, quieter environments with reduced lighting and noise, providing a less overwhelming experience for autistic children. Check with your local autism society or community groups to find sensory-friendly holiday events in your area.
7. Plan for Respite and Self-Care
The holiday season can be demanding for parents and caregivers. It’s important to find moments of respite to recharge. Whether it’s asking a friend or relative to babysit for a few hours or arranging professional respite care, taking time for yourself helps ensure you are in the best position to support your child.
Even small breaks, like a walk outside or a quiet moment with a hot cup of tea, can help you feel more balanced and better able to manage the festive demands. Remember, a well-rested caregiver is essential for creating a positive and supportive environment for an autistic child.
8. Include Practical Gift-Giving Considerations
Gift-giving can be stressful for autistic children, particularly when it involves surprises or sensory challenges. Consider providing a list of preferred toys, activities, or sensory-friendly gifts to family members in advance. Experience-based gifts, such as passes to a favourite attraction, movie tickets, or a subscription to a favourite activity, can also make for meaningful presents that don’t add sensory stress. Using easy-to-open packaging or gift bags can also make the experience more accessible for children with fine motor challenges.
9. Use Visual Supports or Social Stories
Social stories can be very effective in preparing autistic children for upcoming events. Consider creating social stories that outline what your child can expect during the holidays, such as decorating the tree, visiting relatives, or attending a holiday event. These visual and narrative aids can make abstract concepts more concrete, helping to reduce anxiety and foster a sense of predictability.
10. Food and Dietary Considerations
Holiday foods can be unfamiliar or overwhelming for some autistic children. If your child follows a restricted or special diet, communicate this clearly with relatives and hosts. Bringing some familiar foods along can help make meals less stressful. Encourage family members to avoid offering food without permission to prevent disruptions to dietary routines, which can sometimes lead to upset stomachs or behavioural changes.
11. Plan for Transition Times
Transitions, such as arriving at or leaving a gathering, can be particularly difficult for autistic children. To ease these moments, plan for extra time to allow your child to adjust. Provide clear warnings before transitions, such as "In 10 minutes, we will be leaving," and use visual timers if helpful. This will allow your child to mentally prepare for the change and reduce resistance or anxiety.
12. Include Siblings in the Preparation
Siblings of autistic children may also need support during the holiday season. Involve them in preparations by explaining any changes or special considerations for their autistic sibling. Encourage them to help create a supportive environment by understanding the routines and needs of their sibling. This can foster empathy and understanding, helping siblings feel valued and included in the process.
13. Emergency Plan for Overwhelm
Despite best efforts, there may be moments when your child becomes overwhelmed. Create an emergency plan for these situations. This might include having a 'code word' to signal when it’s time to leave early, or preparing a go-bag with items that help calm your child, such as favourite toys, snacks, or noise-cancelling headphones. Being prepared for these situations can help de-escalate stress and provide a sense of security for both you and your child.
14. Collaborate with Your Child
Involving your child in planning holiday activities can be empowering and help them feel more in control. Ask them which traditions they are most comfortable with and let them have a say in which activities to include or adapt. Their input can help ensure that chosen activities are suited to their comfort level, making the holiday experience more positive for everyone.
15. Manage Expectations for Social Interactions
Autistic children can find holiday-related social interactions challenging. Consider discussing strategies for handling greetings, such as preparing simple scripts for when relatives arrive, or allowing the child to greet people in their own way, without the pressure of physical contact like hugs. This can help your child feel more at ease and reduce stress during social interactions.
16. Practice Holiday Activities in Advance
Practice or role-play certain holiday activities ahead of time to help your child become familiar with them. This could include a 'mini' Christmas gathering at home, where you rehearse greetings, gift exchanges, or decorating. Practicing these activities in a familiar environment can help your child understand what will happen and reduce anxiety during the actual event.
17. Create a Holiday "Survival Kit"
Create a detailed "Holiday Survival Kit" with sensory items, comfort foods, headphones, or small activities for when your child needs a break during holiday events. Having this kit readily available can provide both your child and family with tools to deal with unexpected stress. Include items that are comforting and effective at calming your child, making it easier to handle overwhelming situations.
18. Involve Your Child in Decoration Selection
Let your child take an active role in selecting, planning, and even deciding when and how to put up Christmas decorations. Putting up decorations can be a significant change to the environment, which may be overwhelming for some autistic children. Allow them to choose decorations that are visually appealing and sensory-appropriate, such as soft lights, minimal noise, or preferred textures. Consider reducing the spread of decorations across the house and instead concentrate them in a single area to limit environmental changes. This approach not only makes the environment more comfortable and predictable for them, but also provides a sense of ownership and autonomy over their space, reducing anxiety and making the experience more enjoyable.
19. Celebrate Your Own Way
Forget about the pressures to conform to traditional holiday expectations and instead, create a celebration that works best for your family. Every family has its unique rhythm and pace, and adapting celebrations to meet your child’s needs can lead to a more meaningful and joyful experience. Whether that means celebrating with a small group at home, opting out of certain events, or even starting completely new traditions, what matters is that the holiday feels positive and enjoyable for everyone.
20. Create Your Own Strategies
Reflect on your own family's past experiences during the holidays and consider what worked well and what didn’t. Use these reflections to create your own personalized strategies that cater specifically to your child’s needs. Each child is unique, and what works best for your family may not always be found in a guide or checklist. Tailor your holiday approach based on what brings your child joy and comfort, and be flexible enough to adjust as needed.