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Signs of Autism When First Meeting a Client

By Prof Tony Attwood & Dr Michelle Garnett 


This blog is for clinicians, therapists, and counsellors to help identify the characteristics of autism in a client who has not previously been considered as autistic. We describe the signature characteristics of autism that may be apparent when first meeting a client or over several appointments when exploring their developmental history and profile of abilities. The blog is based on our extensive clinical experience and the formal diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorder (APA 2022).

Prevalence and pathways

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the prevalence of autism in 2022 was estimated as one in 44 eight-year-old children. However, this is a conservative estimate, as many autistic adults camouflage and supress their autistic characteristics in social situations or choose a career that minimises the effects of autism, a form of compensation. Camouflaging and compensation may delay professional recognition of autism until the adult years.

There are many pathways for an autistic person to seek psychological, psychiatric, or mental health team support or counselling for career and relationship issues. We recognise that 79 per cent of autistic adults meet criteria for a psychiatric disorder at least once in their lives (Lever and Geurts 2016). The most common concerns are for high levels of anxiety and episodic depression. Other pathways are needing assessment and therapy for trauma, an eating disorder, borderline personality disorder, attention deficit disorder, gender dysphoria, addiction, and schizophrenia. There may also be issues regarding achieving and maintaining friendships, employment, or a long-term relationship. 

As the conversation with the client develops, the characteristics of autism may slowly emerge in their conversational abilities, social development, emotion communication, cognitive profile, ability to cope with change, interests, and sensory sensitivity.

Conversation abilities

The client’s conversation ability, while often demonstrating sophisticated vocabulary and depth of knowledge, may also include subtle difficulties with the pragmatic aspects of language, an unusual prosody, a tendency to make a literal interpretation, and difficulty with the comprehension and expression of nonverbal communication. The pragmatic aspects include the degree of reciprocity or ‘balance’ in the conversation: the person may talk too little or too much. When too little, there will need to be encouragement to say more than a few words in reply to a question and to provide some degree of elaboration and personal examples that illustrate a specific topic. When talking too much, the client’s conversation may be perceived as a one-sided monologue. There can be a difficulty in determining when the person has completed what they want to say, for example, failing to give eye-contact to indicate your turn to speak. In contrast, the client may frequently interrupt their conversation partner to make a comment or correct an error, oblivious of the signals not to interrupt, or that the person may be offended by the correction. 

There may also be difficulties knowing how to maintain and repair a conversation by seeking clarification and more information, as well as modifying language according to the social context. The client may also engage in too much or too little disclosure of personal or confidential information. 

Prosody may be unusual in terms of the speed, volume, rate, rhythm, and ‘melody’ of speech. There may be a lack of vocal tone and volume to indicate emotion and key words, and an unusual placement of stress and precise intonation. There can be a tendency to take a literal interpretation, which may become apparent when the other person uses idioms, sarcasm or ‘figures of speech’. 

One of the central characteristics of autism is a difficulty focusing on and reading nonverbal communication, which can become conspicuous during a conversation. There may be unusual aspects of eye-contact in terms of eye-contact frequency, duration, and ability to read another person’s facial expressions in order to modify the conversation. The person may be listening but not looking at the face of their conversation partner at key points in the interaction when eye-contact would not really be anticipated. One adaptation to autism is to appear to be looking at the person’s face, but instead focusing on their ears or forehead rather than their eyes, thus failing to determine what their conversation partner is thinking or feeling. And sometimes, even though there may be a focus specifically on someone’s eyes, there may still be difficulty reading facial expressions. As one autistic adult said, “People give messages with their eyes, and I don’t understand them.”

The difficulty reading nonverbal communication can occur for both conversation partners; the client’s facial expressions may be perceived as ‘still’ or ‘wooden’, and thus difficult to read. Their gestures may be limited or ‘stylised’, sometimes mimicking the gestures and posture of the conversation partner. There may be less use of nodding agreement, reciprocal smiles or complimentary sounds of compassion and interest. 

Social abilities

An exploration of social abilities and experiences may reveal difficulty making and keeping friends, delayed Theory of Mind abilities, a history of being bullied at school and work, and evidence of relatively effective but superficial social abilities. 

During childhood, there is likely to have been a time when the client first recognised that their social and friendship skills were not as advanced and complex as those of their peers. There may have been, and continue to be, a preference for solitary rather than social activities. During childhood and adolescence, there would have been a desire to establish and maintain friendships without a complete or realistic idea of what friendship entails. It is through extensive friendship experiences that we not only learn relationship skills, such as the art of compromise and conflict resolution, but also recognise the need for emotional as well as practical support. 

Theory of Mind is a psychological term to describe the capacity to understand and successfully relate to other people by determining what they may be thinking or feeling, and their mental state, knowledge, and intentions. This includes recognising that another person’s mental state may be different from one’s own. To develop Theory of Mind abilities, it is essential to be able to accurately read nonverbal communication and social context to infer someone’s thoughts and feelings and modify social behaviour accordingly. 

Many autistic adults have experienced rejection, humiliation and bullying from peers, especially in the high school years. Some of the incidents have been extremely distressing and traumatic. There is also an association between autism and all forms of abuse, which may lead to post traumatic shock disorder.

Social expressions of autism

A common perception of an autistic person is someone who considers social interactions as indecipherably complex, overwhelming and stressful, and chooses to be alone but does not necessarily feel lonely. However, there are autistic children and adults who are highly motivated to socially engage but may not be able to read the subtle social signals and social conventions of what to say and do. A metaphor to describe this expression of autism is that of a driver who does not see the traffic signals (nonverbal communication), or abide by the traffic code (social conventions). Their social behaviour may be perceived as intrusive or intense, such that the autistic person becomes bitterly disappointed that conversations, friendships and relationships are short lived. 

An adaptation to autism that creates the impression of social competence is for the person to acquire social abilities by supressing their autistic characteristics and instead observe, analyse, and imitate social behaviour, thus creating a social ‘mask’ and false persona. This adaptation may start in early childhood by avidly watching socially popular children, searching for patterns of social behaviour, and copying gestures, speech, interests, and topics of conversation. This adaptation is described as social ‘camouflaging’. 

Camouflaging requires the ability to suppress typically autistic behaviours, such as gently rocking to self-soothe, or talking excessively about a special interest, and instead appear interested in other people, making appropriate empathic gestures and comments: the creation of a social mask. While social success and acceptance may be achieved this way, the psychological cost is mental exhaustion in terms of being drained of mental energy by the effort of socialising. There is also the potential for the development of depression from energy depletion and the inability to express the authentic self.

During the initial conversation with the client, there may be the expected level of reciprocity and mutual reading of nonverbal communication. However, this may be due to their being very proficient and experienced in camouflaging their autistic characteristics. These abilities may have been achieved by intellectual analysis and practice rather than intuition. If the client has the autistic characteristics of difficulty coping with change, interests that are unusual in intensity or focus, and sensory sensitivity, it would be appropriate to compliment the client on their conversation and social skills, but also to ask how such social proficiency was achieved. An autistic client would describe using a range of sources of social information including observing, analysing and copying peers, watching television programmes (especially soap operas) to memorise scripts and responses, and seeking information on reading nonverbal communication and the art of conversation from literature, apps and YouTube. They may also rehearse their social and conversation scripts, or have a family member who provides social guidance.

Another social adaptation or compensation for autism during childhood is for autistic girls to prefer the company of boys, since their social dynamics are relatively simpler. They may feel safer and less likely to be bullied by boys, who often enjoy playing with a ‘tomboy’. An autistic adult may compensate by choosing a career that does not require much social engagement, such as a wildlife ranger; or they may develop an interest and talent in the arts, becoming an author, artist, musician, singer, or multi-linguist. Social eccentricities may be accepted and accommodated due to being valued by peers who recognise and admire a particular talent.

Emotion communication

Autism is associated with alexithymia, that is, the inability to focus attention on, recognise and accurately appraise, describe and moderate subjective emotions and body sensations, and then communicate those thoughts, sensations and emotions in words. Alexithymia is not exclusive to autism or a characteristic of all autistic adults but has been identified in at least 50 per cent of autistic adults, and in only 5 per cent of the general population (Kinnaird, Stewart & Tchanturia, 2019). Having alexithymia leads to a difficulty recognising internal emotional states, such that when asked ‘What are you feeling now?’, after some conscious thought, the reply may be, ‘I don’t know’. This is not being obtuse or evasive. There can be a genuine difficulty perceiving and converting internal states and emotions into speech. The full answer to the question would be, ‘I don’t know… how to mentally grasp the intangible emotions swirling in my mind, identify and label them accurately and communicate those feelings in speech so that you will understand’.

Another characteristic of alexithymia is to talk about experiences without reference to the emotional states of themselves and others. There is less spontaneous mention of emotions in conversation. This will affect autobiographical memory, such that an important event may be described primarily by the sequence of actions, rather than by the thoughts, feelings and intentions of others or themselves.

However, an autistic person is not oblivious to the emotional state of others, and may in fact be overly sensitive to another person’s negative mood. There appears to be a ‘sixth sense’ perception of someone’s anxiety, sadness or anger, which can lead to avoidance of some social situations or specific people due to the risk of being ‘infected’ by their distress, and being unsure how to help them. 

Having difficulty identifying and communicating internal emotional states can result in emotions increasing in intensity without sufficient cognitive evaluation and regulation, eventually leading to these emotions being released explosively as a meltdown. The developmental history and current concerns may include emotional meltdowns that are explosions of anger and anxiety, or implosions of intense despair and suicidal ideation.

Cognitive abilities

Autism is a different way of perceiving and learning, and this can lead to a cognitive profile that includes an ability to perceive and develop systems and patterns, and also to identify errors and detail that may not be recognised by others. There can also be an ability to store and recall information, and to find solutions to problems that are elusive to colleagues or employers. This may lead to a successful career as a recognised expert in a particular career or profession.

Ability to cope with change

The diagnostic criteria refer to distress at small changes and coping with uncertainty, as well as a tendency to insist on sameness and a preference for routines and consistency. For an autistic adult, variety is not the ‘spice of life.’ 

Interests and talents

Throughout childhood and into the adult years there is a history of hobbies or interests that are unusual in intensity or focus. Each interest has a ‘use by date’ that may range from hours to decades. The interests are associated with intense enjoyment and may also function as a thought blocker for anxiety or sadness. They also provide a sense of identity and social connection with those who share the same interest. 

During conversation, the client may be somewhat subdued and quiet, appearing to be reluctant to engage. However, when the topic of conversation is the person’s interest, they suddenly become enlivened, engaged and eager to disclose their expertise: almost an alternative persona.

While alexithymia is a difficulty converting thoughts and feelings into speech, a successful adaption to alexithymia is to express thoughts and feelings through the arts. The autistic adult may have a recognised talent as an artist, musician, composer, or author. The inner world is vividly expressed through the arts.

There may be a talent in the caring professions, especially psychology and psychiatry. The propensity from childhood to observe and analyse others to facilitate social engagement may evolve into achieving formal qualifications and a successful career as a teacher, therapist, psychologist, paediatrician, or psychiatrist. Autism is often associated with the altruistic desire help alleviate suffering and increase knowledge and abilities. There may also be a talent understand and caring for animals.

Sensory sensitivity

There can be an extraordinary perception of sensory experiences from the outside world, or ‘exteroception’. Specific sounds, types of lighting, tactile experiences, aromas, and emotional states of others can be perceived at such an intensity that the experience is aversive. In contrast, there can be difficulty sensing the internal world, or ‘interoception’. There appears to be a mind and body disconnection. The autistic person may not experience hunger or thirst to the same degree as other people, and may not be aware of the increasing heart rate and breathing that indicate rising anxiety or anger.

Screening for autism and recommending a formal diagnostic assessment

At the end of the first consultation, or after several consultations, some, but not necessarily all of the signs of autism may gradually become apparent. The next stage is to consider asking the client to complete screening questionnaires specifically designed to identify the characteristics of autism in an adult. These include the Autism Social Quotient (Baron-Cohen et al 2001) for men and women, and the GQ-ASD for women (Brown et al 2020). If their scores on these instruments are above the designated cut off, then a referral or subsequent appointment for a formal diagnostic assessment is warranted. 

Training in screening for autism and conducting a diagnostic assessment

Our online course, Diagnosis for Autistic Adults and Support and Therapy for Autistic Adults focus on assessing and confirming autism using a range of instruments based on research studies and our extensive clinical experience. They explore the characteristics of autism in adults in more detail and review the range of screening instruments and standardised assessments or scales for autism. Also included is guidance in conducting a diagnostic assessment, dual and differential diagnosis, and how to explain the diagnosis and its implications for the individual, their family and colleagues. A focus on therapy and support for autistic adults, including modifications that help. 

These courses are for professionals interested in increasing their understanding of autism, and how to provide support and treatment for their autistic clients.


APA (2022) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-5 Text Revision. American Psychiatric Association 

Baron-Cohen et al (2001) Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders 31 5-17 Available on the Internet at

Brown et al (2020) Autism in Adulthood 2, 216-226 Available to download at forms and questionnaires

Kinnaird, Stewart & Tchanturia (2019) European Psychiatry 55, 80-89

Lever and Geurts (2016) Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders 46: 1916-1930